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Friday, January 13, 2006

Frustration 

Today I gave an English private class to a teenager, a very nice one by the way,
and alhtough I have a nice amount of experience teaching adults, I found it very difficult. In part it was because she was still at a beginning intermediate level and so I couldn't talk Fluently in English to her. But I also I kind of panicked when I felt the energy level was going down, and since this class is supposed to just be a rejoinder of what she is seeing in school, and I had to improvise since it was our first class, I just felt really uncomfortable with the lack of dynamism. Something I definitely need to plan better.

I am in a country where right now I am not legally allowed to work and I am going up
the walls with frustration. So, I am forced to work informally - take that you stupid government. Which mostly means teaching English and maybe babysitting in the near future.

This week, actually I will be doing a volunteer babysitting try-out to see how it goes, and if I like it, I might pursue more the baby-sitting jobs.

But although I didn't think it would be so bad not to be able to work for awhile (given that I am expecting the situation to change in the near future), it is, actually, driving me crazy. I have to count every cent I spend and although I am pround of myself for being so careful and creatively saving money in a thousand of ways, I just hate not being to work and earn a salary at the end of the month to pay for all I need.

I think also the worse of everything is that I am so alone in all this. Most all of the people I socialize with (socialize may be a bit of an exaggeration here :-) given how bubbly my social agenda is ;-), anyways, most all of them are far removed from my experience and it creates that unpleasant abyss of difference. Because they are far removed from it, they range from the 5 minute empathy/sympathy to the arrogant "we don't have those kind of problems - EVER." In any event, it's so awful because I have no one to vent with or to laugh with about all the daily fighting, setbacks, emotions, and successes.

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