Friday, September 02, 2005
I wish it were that simple!
Another gem from Scrappleface, announcing that the President will the opportunity provided by Katrina to solve a longstanding problem in New Orleans:
(2005-09-02) -- President George Bush issued new orders today designed to deal with hurricane victims trapped in New Orleans and the gangs of looters roaming the city's streets.
"I've directed FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers to take two immediate actions," said Mr. Bush as he stepped off Marine One after his helicopter tour of the ravaged region. "Our plan is simple, and can be expressed in just nine words: Rescue the refugees, then fill it to the brim."
The president explained that he had great compassion for those stranded at the increasingly unsanitary New Orleans convention center without food and water.
However, he has "no sympathy or tolerance for the gangs of brutal thugs who rob, rape and terrify."
"The moment we get the last legitimate refugee out of the city," the president said, "I've instructed the Corps of Engineers to dynamite the levees and let Lake Pontchatrain completely cover the snakes and fire-ants and their kin, if you know what I mean. Hurricane Katrina has provided us with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to rid New Orleans of a chronic plague."
