Friday, February 18, 2005
The Power of a Look
I have lots of unanswered questions about nudists. And this article about a restaurant in NY now offering nudist dinners just prompted them again:
I don't agree with Bussi. I think nudists are different than you or I. I also think it's standard knowledge that most nudists aren't into orgies. But my question is, why do people have a need for nudism? Where does the need to be in a naked group of people come from?
Why did she find such an experience empowering? What does empowering mean to her? Was it like an exhibitionist kind of thing? She shows off her naked body to several men who convey to her their appreciation? Admiration? Pleasure? In what way did she feel disempowered before the nudism?
I think she contradicts herself when she says, "it's the least sexual thing" and "men are striking a bargain. They get to see as many naked women as they like as long as they are polite and look them straight in the eye."
It's obvious that nudists are not just into nudity. Otherwise they would stay at home only and be nude there 24 hours a day. They have a need to be nude in front of other people, who are also nude. They need to look at naked bodies and have their naked body looked at. If men just went to nudism camps to look at women in the eye, they wouldn´t go. You can go to the mall and see a lot more women's eyes uncovered.
So, it seems to me that nudists do a lot of gazing at other people's bodies, the entire body, which certainly includes the "private" parts. Which, given how our culture is, usually means there are deep sexual undercurrents tied to it all. However, it seems all of that is usually denied by nudists. No, no, we just look at people's elbows and their eyes. Right.
I do get the feeling that in nudism, it's not a physical contact orgy, but there is something of a visual orgy going on. But it's quite regulated as well. It's not the crude, aggressive type of looking, that is not permitted, at least theoretically. Every single article I have seen about nudism talks about these spoken or non-spoken rules of visual engagement. But I wonder just how "polite" the looking that takes place is. I have my doubts about what I see as nudism propaganda. There is no large of group of people in our world that does not have behavioral problems. And I think nudists must include several people who have unpleasant attitudes and behaviors regarding sexuality and nudity.
Nudists also usually say that after you are around nude people for awhile, the fact that they are nude becomes invisible, you're not so hung up about it like the rest of us. I find that is hard to believe. To a certain extent, yes, but totally, no. The years of social conditioning that we have with body parts and all the ingrained sexual/privacy meanings go far too deep for it to simply disappear in a day.
Anyways, I wondered if most of the waiters got uncomfortable or tiltillated by having to work in that nudist dinner?
If they have any good jokers among the staff, that must have been one heck of a funny evening. Imagine the talk in the kitchen!!!
On a side note, not too long ago, I was traveling for tourism and the guide offered to take our group and pass by a nudist beach which was on the way. Not to participate, but simply for us to look. No one was interested. Sorry, we'd rather see something much more interesting, like scenery, architecture, artworks. What's the big deal, a bunch of ugly, naked people on a beach? Life is short, man... better things to look at.
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Around 30 people arrived for the buffet dinner -- organizers specified no hot soup on the menu -- most of them middle-aged, several married couples, some singles, the youngest perhaps in their 30s.
"They're a good class of people, they're no different to you or I," said John Bussi, owner of the midtown restaurant. "They're not hurting anybody, it's not a wild Roman orgy."
I don't agree with Bussi. I think nudists are different than you or I. I also think it's standard knowledge that most nudists aren't into orgies. But my question is, why do people have a need for nudism? Where does the need to be in a naked group of people come from?
Ordover's wife, Carol, said they first went on a naturist holiday five years ago and she found the experience empowering. But, she explained, it's "the least sexual thing you can possibly imagine."
"Men in nudist resorts are striking a bargain. They get to see as many naked women as they like as long as they are polite and look them straight in the eye," she said.
Why did she find such an experience empowering? What does empowering mean to her? Was it like an exhibitionist kind of thing? She shows off her naked body to several men who convey to her their appreciation? Admiration? Pleasure? In what way did she feel disempowered before the nudism?
I think she contradicts herself when she says, "it's the least sexual thing" and "men are striking a bargain. They get to see as many naked women as they like as long as they are polite and look them straight in the eye."
It's obvious that nudists are not just into nudity. Otherwise they would stay at home only and be nude there 24 hours a day. They have a need to be nude in front of other people, who are also nude. They need to look at naked bodies and have their naked body looked at. If men just went to nudism camps to look at women in the eye, they wouldn´t go. You can go to the mall and see a lot more women's eyes uncovered.
So, it seems to me that nudists do a lot of gazing at other people's bodies, the entire body, which certainly includes the "private" parts. Which, given how our culture is, usually means there are deep sexual undercurrents tied to it all. However, it seems all of that is usually denied by nudists. No, no, we just look at people's elbows and their eyes. Right.
I do get the feeling that in nudism, it's not a physical contact orgy, but there is something of a visual orgy going on. But it's quite regulated as well. It's not the crude, aggressive type of looking, that is not permitted, at least theoretically. Every single article I have seen about nudism talks about these spoken or non-spoken rules of visual engagement. But I wonder just how "polite" the looking that takes place is. I have my doubts about what I see as nudism propaganda. There is no large of group of people in our world that does not have behavioral problems. And I think nudists must include several people who have unpleasant attitudes and behaviors regarding sexuality and nudity.
Nudists also usually say that after you are around nude people for awhile, the fact that they are nude becomes invisible, you're not so hung up about it like the rest of us. I find that is hard to believe. To a certain extent, yes, but totally, no. The years of social conditioning that we have with body parts and all the ingrained sexual/privacy meanings go far too deep for it to simply disappear in a day.
Anyways, I wondered if most of the waiters got uncomfortable or tiltillated by having to work in that nudist dinner?
Health regulations mean staff must remain clothed even if they wanted to join in. And diners must bring something to sit on -- a towel or, for discerning women, an elegant silk scarf.
If they have any good jokers among the staff, that must have been one heck of a funny evening. Imagine the talk in the kitchen!!!
On a side note, not too long ago, I was traveling for tourism and the guide offered to take our group and pass by a nudist beach which was on the way. Not to participate, but simply for us to look. No one was interested. Sorry, we'd rather see something much more interesting, like scenery, architecture, artworks. What's the big deal, a bunch of ugly, naked people on a beach? Life is short, man... better things to look at.
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