Sunday, February 13, 2005
Discovery - What Kind of Candy Are You?
Few people are aware that many divorces and tragic career choices could have easily been avoided if humans simply took to heart that axiomatic prescription: know thyself. This is why today we laud and bring you a discovery of foremost importance for the progress of humankind, the online "What kind of candy are you?" test. I was first intrigued by the portentous power of this test when I saw another blogger´s result, which was, none other than... chocolate!
"Chocolate, eh?" Could I go on with this inner most truth revealing question unanswered? "Am I chocolate, bubble gum, or mints? Oh, the doubts are excruciating! I need answers and I need them now." An unexamined bubble gum life...
"So," here I thought, "although this probably is another of those tests where you spend hours answering a multitude of loony questions anxious for some profound feedback, only to find out someone with the IQ of a cabbage just fooled you into throwing away 30 very precious minutes of your grand presence on this earth, while they snicker and stick you with a reply worse than sheep horoscopes on the back of cheap fertilizer sacks, I must take the risk, I must find out... the truth."
After thoughtfully answering a few very difficult questions which consumed an entire five minutes, the oracle gracefully disclosed its sagacious answer:
And I was just elated. Aren´t I just grand? I mean, "so unique, always thinks outside the box, believe in inner beauty!" Yes, what can I say? Sometimes we just have to put aside our modesty because our grandness exudes and blossoms like spring.
Except for the Skittles. Obviously it was not licorice or anise squares like some people I know, but since when does Skittles match someone with a most unique personality as yours truly? Skittles, these mass produced, inane little things. No, the description is perfect, but not the candy. I´m sorry, but I just don´t fit into a candy mold. Then I started to think in terms of desserts. I´m more of a dessert... but... the sexual overtones that immediately come up in musing about which dessert, is not where I want to go here...
And at the end of the test, there is a button saying, "Click here to see all possible answers." I dared not. My delight with the gorgeous Skittles personality description is all I need to make me happy. Who is to say there are only 3 candy types and you find out this enormous mass of commonplace humans who take the test get the same result as this most unique person? The oracle has spoken. Next test, please.
Related previous entry:
Online Cupid Test, Religion Test
You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.
"Chocolate, eh?" Could I go on with this inner most truth revealing question unanswered? "Am I chocolate, bubble gum, or mints? Oh, the doubts are excruciating! I need answers and I need them now." An unexamined bubble gum life...
"So," here I thought, "although this probably is another of those tests where you spend hours answering a multitude of loony questions anxious for some profound feedback, only to find out someone with the IQ of a cabbage just fooled you into throwing away 30 very precious minutes of your grand presence on this earth, while they snicker and stick you with a reply worse than sheep horoscopes on the back of cheap fertilizer sacks, I must take the risk, I must find out... the truth."
After thoughtfully answering a few very difficult questions which consumed an entire five minutes, the oracle gracefully disclosed its sagacious answer:
You're Skittles!!!
[Skittles?! God, no, not Skittles! What happened to my depth? My complexity? But then I saw the wiseness of the answer, as it continued...]
You have a very interesting personality, you're so unique. You're the kind of person who always thinks outside of the box. You're also a very accepting individual, and believe in inner beauty.
And I was just elated. Aren´t I just grand? I mean, "so unique, always thinks outside the box, believe in inner beauty!" Yes, what can I say? Sometimes we just have to put aside our modesty because our grandness exudes and blossoms like spring.
Except for the Skittles. Obviously it was not licorice or anise squares like some people I know, but since when does Skittles match someone with a most unique personality as yours truly? Skittles, these mass produced, inane little things. No, the description is perfect, but not the candy. I´m sorry, but I just don´t fit into a candy mold. Then I started to think in terms of desserts. I´m more of a dessert... but... the sexual overtones that immediately come up in musing about which dessert, is not where I want to go here...
And at the end of the test, there is a button saying, "Click here to see all possible answers." I dared not. My delight with the gorgeous Skittles personality description is all I need to make me happy. Who is to say there are only 3 candy types and you find out this enormous mass of commonplace humans who take the test get the same result as this most unique person? The oracle has spoken. Next test, please.
Related previous entry:
Online Cupid Test, Religion Test
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