Saturday, May 13, 2006

Naiveté or not naiveté? 

I have a new friend and she seems to be a great human being. I am very happy. At the same time, sometimes I don't know if she is tripping me. She is very kind and strives to be a good Christian, and I think most of the time she does. At the same time, the way we became friends is unusual. I had had a good impression of her when I first met her, but we never talked. Then one day, she just greeted me in such a snotty tone, that I was sure it must have been the result of nasty gossip, like if someone else went up to her and said something crappy about me and she believed it without thinking twice.

So I wrote her, questioning her behavior, questioning what I thought was another slime of a woman calling herself a Christian but being the opposite. And then we talked and found out we get along and have similar values. She told me she hadn't meant to be abrupt that day, but she had a headache and bla bla bla.

At first I believed her. Then I started noticing something about her that irks me. You see, she is one of these people that always thinks other people have good intentions and simply err here and there, specially if they call themselves Christians. Apparently she can't deal with the fact that many people are outright slime, they just don't trip up here and there, their mind is corrupt and unethical as a permanent state of being. So I've noticed that it's useless to talk to her about a variety of people and complicated worldly problems because she has always this la-la-land filter through which she interprets everyone and everything. Annoying, but she is still a good person and is becoming a good friend. And after I found this out about her, I began to wonder if what I wrote her wasn't true, that she really had believed some stupid gossip and became snotty, then when she was confronted, she did some rethinking, and ended up seeing that I was not whatever she may have been thinking, so saying she had a headache was just bull, but she will now probably never feel comfortable enough to admit it, maybe not even to herself. So, at this point, she truly gives me the impression that she is very naive, and naive in the sense that her comfort level is so tiny in dealing with heavy ugly stuff in the world that she continuously blotches it out of her cognition. But then again, sometimes I wonder if I am not overestimating her naiveté and it's just there to dissimulate something not so nice.

Argh, people.

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