Sunday, March 05, 2006

How bad a year did Hollywood have? 

About time they got something like this going...
"How bad a year did Hollywood have?" founder John Wilson asked in his opening monologue. "To hear them tell it, only the residents of Baghdad, the residents of New Orleans and one particular resident of Crawford, Texas, had a worse year in 2005 than the folks of Tinseltown."

Despite a surfeit of awful films and dwindling box office takings, Wilson said, "The Academy of Motion Pictures Farts and Scientologists" would still give out Oscars on Sunday.

By far the worst movie of the year was "Dirty Love," a movie written by and starring former Playboy model Jenny McCarthy, which took four honors.

Billed by its producers as a "modern day Cinderella story," the movie grossed just $58,116 and was drubbed by critics.

It won worst picture and McCarthy won worst actress and worst screenplay. McCarthy's former husband John Mallory Asher won worst director at the mock movie awards show in Hollywood.

"Even by the standards of its bottom-feeding genre, 'Dirty Love' clings to the gutter like a rat in garbage," film critic Stephen Holden wrote in The New York Times.

Cruise was also nominated as worst actor but was trumped by Rob Schneider, the star of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo."

Hayden Christensen, who has won worst supporting actor once before for playing Anakin Skywalker, who grows up to be Darth Vader, won again for playing the same character in "Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith."

Paris Hilton, described by the Razzies as being the "notorious air-headed heiress," won worst supporting actress for her death scene in "House of Wax."

Rounding out the Razzies, "Son of the Mask" won worst sequel and Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman were worst screen couple for their "less-than-bewitching chemistry" in "Bewitched."

The Razzies are given by the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation, which was formed to toast the worst of films, 24 hours before the Oscars tout the best.

They could have come up with a better name though. Too bad "rottentomatoes" was already taken. "And the Rotten Tomato Award for worst actor goes to..."

See, it just sounds better.

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